My Dad Has Cancer

When we first got a definite diagnosis, there was some reflection on when this started. The main sign that brought us to the doctor was peeing blood and clots. The first time this happened, a couple years ago, they thought it was kidney stones. Then a year later it happened again, at the same time of year, oddly enough, and thought it was the same. We nor the doctor followed up on that. However, when this starting happening again back in January 2024, we figured something was off.

Since then there have been more tests, including a CT scan, which led to a diagnosis of kidney cancer. This has led us to reflect on when this started. These bouts we thought were kidney stones seem the obvious point of reference. Perhaps it could have been caught then, perhaps not. Perhaps it was around, perhaps not. It’s speculation at this point and we likely won’t ever know. But it does bring to mind health advocacy.

We depend on doctors to diagnose us. We depend on them to know what is wrong and what could be wrong and to investigate to find out. However, my experience in this situation and others has proven this is more nuanced. When I call in for something wrong, I want to get to the root of the cause and treat it. But what I often get is a treatment for the symptoms or the most likely cause. They diagnose what it probably is, what the most likely scenario is, and go from there. Now, this does make sense. They have seen these things many times. They see a patient with A, B, and C symptoms, ask some questions, and determine a cause. In the best and most likely case, they are right and treatment is effective. But for those cases which don’t fall in the likely category, this is quite ineffective.

A few years ago I had bronchitis. I went to immediate care, they determined what it was and gave me cough medicine and told me it would clear up in a couple weeks. A couple weeks went by and it was still there. I had a video visit and they basically told me about bronchitis and how it can develop and that it would clear up. Two more weeks went by. Finally, it had been around long enough that it raised a flag for someone when I checked in again. I had a lung scan, that was thankfully mostly clear, and was prescribed some antibiotics. That cleared it up. Bronchitis is caused by a virus 95% of the time. It turns out I had one that was different.

In this situation, I don’t think what the doctors and nurses did was wrong. Why wouldn’t you think the diagnosis was what happens 95% of the time? However, if I didn’t keep following up, it could have developed into something else or just stuck around longer. What this made me realize is that I know my body better than anyone, and moreso as I age. I trust medical professionals. But I also needed to acknowledge that I need to advocate for my health. If I think something is wrong, keep going back. Luckily, I had professionals that did listen to me, and I know that is sometimes not the case. But I kept going back when the usual treatments weren’t working.

In the situation with my dad, this is what we did as well. Eventually. When things were going wrong for a third time, we knew we needed to follow up more. And while it is something we might wonder about if we should have done things differently, it is what it is at this point. But something for us to keep in mind going forward. It is important to push sometimes when it comes to your health.